Canceled road trip to NY
We were planning to go to New York this weekend to meet Wombat's extended family for his grandmother's unveiling, but his mom called us last minute and convinced us it was not worth the drive (20 hours for only a 24 hour visit) and it would be best to wait and see the rest of the family in Florida next month instead. Ok then, we will stay and catch up on sleep and chores instead! (And blogging, apparently). Wombat is currently painting the trim in the basement (his UW Dawg Den) and I'm preparing to tend to the garden and set up the bird feeders after he's finished, so we can take turns watching the bambina. Speaking of the bambina......
Gender differences
I've been meaning to talk about this for awhile and could not find the words to explain exactly how I felt, but I'll try anyway. It was not until BugBat was born that I felt such a separation in gender. First things first, I am essentially destined to be a cow for the next 6-12 months, as I am the only parent that can provide natural food for our daughter. This means I never get a break from it, no matter where or when or how tired I am, I must either nurse or pump every few hours to keep up a healthy supply. In fact, I can't remember the last time I slept more than 5 hours straight.....when I wasn't peeing constantly during the pregnancy, I am now fulfilling my milk duties. The increase in chest size constrains my exercise, since movement with too much impact isn't exactly comfortable. I was also so excited to be able to sleep on my stomach after giving birth, but.....yeah.....that's not comfortable either. And don't forget that my dietary restrictions still exist regarding drinking alcohol, eating healthy, and not taking any type of medication, including tylenol (now apparently linked to a higher incidence of asthma, which runs in my family already). So there is a major physical constraint that the hubby doesn't have to deal with. Not that I'm complaining, since nursing is a wonderful bonding experience with BugBat, but as my cousin once noted, it's kind of a love-hate relationship.
Second, since I am the "natural" caretaker biologically, it has fallen on me to stay home with the bambina most of the time, despite the fact that I had the most stable income at the time of her birth (not necessarily more, but at least consistent and reliable). This includes running errands, which, although not always pleasant, were at least much easier without having to worry about stopping to nurse in public. Yes, I could pump ahead of time and use a bottle, but that still just makes it that much more of a hassle for me to go anywhere. Again, not that I mind, since motherhood has been the single most enlightening and incredible experience of my life so far, but I do feel as though the career that I have worked so hard to obtain is suffering, when Wombat's is not.
No wonder women have such a mountain to climb in our society.....we're expected to be mothers, homemakers, wives, and have a career at the same time. Though it is empowering to have all of those options, it is also overwhelming at times. I feel guilty for not working full-time at work; even though I bring it home with me on the days I'm not in the office, I clearly can't work a full 8 hours a day while taking care of my daughter. I also feel guilty for leaving BugBat at daycare; even though it's only twice a week and a wonderful environment, I don't feel like I'm providing her the full attention that was provided to me by my mother, and I'm missing seeing her 16 hours a week. I rationally know that I'm doing the best I can, but it's still hard to accept that I can't do the best at either work or parenting anymore in order to do them both. I'm pretty sure Wombat does not struggle with this same guilt.
Finally, this really makes me wonder if women will ever "catch up" with men professionally. As long as we are the only ones that can get pregnant (another disability, especially if you have morning sickness or any other number of pregnancy medical conditions) and nurse, we are quite handicapped during what is arguably the strongest career building years, since they also correspond with our most fertile years. This has been bothering me because with the growth of women's freedom to work, has also come the expectation that we keep up with men financially, when it is a hard reality if you also want to have a family. It bothers me because there is no fair solution - either we expect men to provide for the families and become dependent on them, or we give up our biological calling to have children, which is especially strong for me at least. Frustrating is what it is. There ought to be some sort of tax deduction for working moms ;)
The Penn State Fiasco
I'm not going to say too much on this subject, except that this kind of horror happens to kids entirely too often (I know from personal experience, unfortunately) and people definitely should be held to a higher standard in preventing these violations if they have any reason to believe it is happening. While as an attorney I cannot presume anyone is guilty until proven so, I also resent anyone who is proclaiming the innocence of those involved when they have NO idea. I'm sure if they or a family member were a former victim, they just might feel differently. Oh, and you had better believe I am going to watch everyone that my daughter associates with like a hawk since I know exactly how those kind of people operate now. They are very often quite charismatic and personable....to an extent that most acquaintances would never believe they are capable of such evil, and that is how they get away with it for so long. That is all I have to say about that right now.
Happier Notes
I seem to be in a bit of an ornery mood today, so let's end with some happier notes.....Wombat and I just invested in our first cloth diapers and I'm so excited for them to arrive! Now that BugBat is finally big enough, we bought a dozen BumGenius 4.0, currently the highest rated cloth diaper on jilliansdrawers.com, and it comes in cute colors and prints:
They are supposed to arrive today, so here's hoping we can try them out this weekend. I hope BugBat likes them since she goes through nearly 20 diapers a day....it's projected to save us quite of bit if it goes well.
Also, these are my new favorite snack:
Finally, since we didn't head to NY this weekend, we're excited to possibly catch the Pacquiao-Marquez fight tonight which would be fun since it's the final fight in a trilogy and we saw the 2nd fight in person while we were dating.
I like pacman, personally :)
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